What tendencies do we hope our children will develop?

After interviewing Christian parents and children we discovered that most of us would agree that the following tendencies are among those important for ourselves and our children to develop. The chapters that follow take up each of these topics:

• We want to develop the tendency to be people of strong Christian faith.

• We want to develop all of our God-given abilities and ways of being intelligent.

• We want to develop the emotional intelligence necessary for empathy for those who suffer.

• We want to develop the tendency to recognize and be outraged by injustice in any form. We should become willing to take action against injustice, and we should live with kindness and generosity.

• We want to develop the tendency to be curious about the world around us, to grow intellectually, and to become critical thinkers.

• We want to develop the tendency to be moral and of good character.

• We want to develop the tendency to live with gratitude and happiness.

• We want to be lifelong learners in God’s Creation.

If the teachings of Jesus Christ are to be taken seriously, then caring for others is what matters most. If we truly do love God with all our hearts and love our neighbors as ourselves, our entire lives will be directed toward justice. If we truly do live with gratitude to God for our salvation we will be deeply concerned and unceasingly active about such issues as economic inequality, unequal schooling, and limited or no health care for some. We will work for a just American policy toward other nations and civil rights in a time when the nation is fearful about terror strikes. These are the things our children must learn from us.

But, how do we do this? Is it possible to make children care about the world? Raising children isn’t easy. Sometimes we have no idea what they are thinking. Sometimes we have all we can do to make sure they are safe, fed, and don’t hurt each other too much when they fight.

Parent: I bungled along and things went pretty smoothly until Sarah, the oldest, reached junior high. At that point she was mature enough to rebel in a way that caused me to call my parenting practices into question. I think I tended to follow a modified version of the parenting practices of my own upbringing: parents have complete authority; children are to be obedient without question. Thankfully, Sarah rebelled and I realized that I could not, and should not control my children. I learned to listen, to recognize my children as individuals, to respect their ideas and concerns. My greatest regret in life is that I didn’t learn this sooner. I don’t mean to imply that this was an easy transition, nor that I executed it flawlessly. It is, however, the single greatest contribution that shaped my ideas concerning parenting.

A central part of raising children in the fabric of faithfulness is helping them learn to develop the tendencies that are an important part of that commitment. What is a tendency? A tendency is more than a habit. A tendency is something that one does without thinking. A tendency begins with a commitment that arises from a worldview. The tendency is a response to that commitment, practiced over and over, until it becomes part of one’s self. It is a commitment to a particular action that is practiced so often it becomes as natural as breathing.
Educator Craig Dykstra calls these tendencies “patterns of intentionality”: the habits of heart that characterize the individual’s effort to live so that their walk will match their talk. In parenting, the commitment first is made by the parent and as the action in keeping with that commitment is practiced over and over in the family the commitment with its tendency to action becomes the child’s.

Sometimes we are shocked to see that our children have developed tendencies that disturb us. Where have they learned such tendencies? Tendencies are learned at home, from television and videos, at school, on the playground, and everywhere else. Garber quotes from an op-ed piece, written by a Harvard junior, in The Washington Post.

Meet the Beavis Generation. I have, and it scares me. Sad to say, the ascent of Beavis and Butthead marks the dethroning of Bart Simpson as the king of adolescent rebellion. This is profoundly significant. Bart, for all of his run-ins with Principal Skinner, is as smart as he is tough. Beavis and Butthead boast IQs safely in the two-digit range – a fact that this new generation revels in.

From Families Living in the Fabric of Faithfulness, which may be downloaded free of charge from the following website:
www.whitworth.edu/livinginthefabric

What might parents do?

Survey question: What might parents do to help their children develop in their faith lives? (Parents’ answers)

PRAY – model church involvement, small groups, participating in their faith journey.

It is really important to go to church, regularly, every Sunday, with both parents. Don’t just “attend,” but be involved. And it is important to be consistent with what is learned in church. If a family attends church, but their lives are a contradiction to what was heard in church by the children, it will certainly create confusion. Practice what is preached.

The best way to teach faith is for parents to model faith by living by faith. This then becomes part of the family culture. Christ is the personal Savior of each of our three kids and they learned early on to consult him regarding all aspects of their lives through prayer and praise.

We gave our kids the foundation and it is up to them to decide what the Bible says to them personally.

In our family, church was and is a given that they would join me for church each week. During a divorce when the girls were 7 and 10 years old, we never missed church, and we would talk about God’s help He was giving us to be a strong family of three instead of a family of four. I think over time this impacted how my daughters felt and learned about faith. We talked about it and we did our best to live it. I also remember the girls looking forward to seeing their grandparents and cousins at church each week. I’m sure that made going a bit more palatable.

Run away from legalism, and allow the children to develop their own faith with guidance.

Surround them with good people of faith; participate as a family in your faith community.

Also sharing with them how faith helped them (the parents) through difficult times.

Pray for them. My children’s acceptance of Christ as Savior is their personal decision, one I cannot make for them. The development of faith in an individual’s life is the result of their response to the call of the Holy Spirit, so I pray that my children’s hearts might be open, I pray for the call of God on their lives.

Let them see you reading the Bible and praying besides at the dinner table. Have daily devotions every day they are in the house. Attend a church with a good youth program devoted to youth growing in the Lord. Keep them involved even when they are “bored.” Send them to church camp. Give them every opportunity to experience Christianity: concerts, camps, mission trips.

Children need to attend church with their parents, receive developmentally appropriate religious education from knowledgeable teachers and have meaningful discussions with others. They need to see others (parents included) exhibit their faith daily in word and deed. This is not always easy – I am very imperfect.


From Families Living in the Fabric of Faithfulness, which may be downloaded free of charge from the following website:
www.whitworth.edu/livinginthefabric

Our children's questions about faith

Recently my daughter and I began wondering whether the changes in family life and the frequent use of different kinds of technology might be limiting the amount of time and, therefore, the ability young people have to engage in their newly developing skill of reflective thinking. If so, would there be a change in the questions they are asking? For this study we accumulated 2510 responses to our survey, all coming from seventh and eighth grade students in 17 Christian schools across North America . The students were asked to list questions they would like to ask someone but probably wouldn’t dare to do so. We discovered that our concern about lack of reflective thinking was unfounded. When it came to matters of faith we found many of the same questions given earlier. In addition, however, the questions from this age group now sound more soul-searching.

• I would really like to know if God is as loving as everyone believes, why does he let evil happen?

• Why do I question God’s existence?

• I would like to ask why God won’t just show all people who are lost a great miracle and then they will all believe in him.

• What’s the point? Besides asking God for things and saying thank you for other things, what’s the point? Why do we need God? Why do some people yearn for God or want more of him? I’ve never felt that way. What’s the point of God? Does our life matter at all? I mean, I’d rather be alive, but, again, what’s the point?

• Why did God test Adam and Eve if he knew they were going to sin?

• How did everyone get here if only one man and a woman were here first. I mean everyone started in Israel. Then how did they get to North and South America and become Indians and have a whole different language?

• Why did people live longer before the flood?

• Am I a good Christian? Am I doing God’s will? Can you stop being a Christian?

• How can you change the ways you have been so that it pleases God (like get rid of bad habits)?

• How do I know if I am forgiven? How do I know if I am growing in faith? How do I make myself stronger in faith?

• How do I witness without shoving the gospel down people’s throats and being annoying?

• How do we judge things not in the Bible?

• How often should we pray?

• I love God, go to church, and go to a Christian school but don’t feel closer to God. What does that mean? I read my Bible everyday. Why do I still feel so far away from God?

• Why am I drifting apart so far from God? What has happened to me? I feel like a chameleon I have to change in front of every new person I meet or have meet.

• How can people talk about the greatness of Christianity, when it is stained by so much bloodshed?

• If I don’t want to go to church, is it sin? If we don’t go to church, and just believe Jesus, do we go to the heaven after we die?

• If you are a Christian but you hate going to Sunday school…does that mean you’re not a Christian?
• Isn’t Saturday the Lord’s day of worship? Why do most people go to church on Sunday?

• What exactly are saints?

• What is Lent about, why do they do it?

• How does God interact with life on other planets?

• Is there life in other galaxies? Do they know about God? Why couldn’t God make other intelligent life in the universe(s)?

• Does anyone else wonder if God is really real? Because Buddhist thinks Buddha is God. I feel Bad for asking that but I wonder sometimes.

• I want non-biblical proof that Jesus rose.

• I want to know the truth how History and Biblical history fit together. I want to know the answers to all the questions I have that make me doubt my religion.

• If God already knew the world would be corrupt why did he make it in the first place?

• When Satan sinned was he in heaven & if so how could he be in heaven since you can’t sin in heaven?

• Who does Satan think he is?

From Families Living in the Fabric of Faithfulness, which may be downloaded free of charge from the following website:
www.whitworth.edu/livinginthefabric

Christian Dalits face persecution

Adam Taylor wrote the following:

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Dalit Converts to Christianity Face Persecution and Violence (Unveiling India's Apartheid, Part 3, by Adam Taylor)

As you were singing carols, placing the last presents under the tree, and worshiping at a Christmas Eve service this past year, Indian Christians halfway across the world were being victimized by the largest attack on the Christian community in India's democratic history. The complex and combustible layers of caste-based oppression and religious persecution came to a head on Dec. 24, 2007, through a spate of violence in the Kandhamal District of Orissa state. During the course of a four-day campaign of terror, more than 100 churches were damaged, at least 700 homes were destroyed, and thousands of Dalit and tribal Christians were forced from their homes.

As preparations were being made to celebrate Christmas, Christian leaders approached the police ...

... seeking to delay a strike organized by Hindu radicals designed to disrupt their celebration. In the town of Brahminigaon, Dalit converts to Christianity have enjoyed greater social and economic empowerment, which threatens the social order put in place through the Hindu caste system. These Dalit and tribal Christians were beginning to own shops and repudiate their inferior status. According to Christian Solidarity Worldwide, the violence was rooted "in a long-term campaign to Hinduise a tribal population, which involved the vilification of religious conversions to Christianity." Hindu nationalists and extremists had been fomenting violence in the region, pitting the majority Hindu population, who are from the lower castes but still maintain a higher position in the caste order than Dalits and tribals, against tribal and Dalit Christians. The police, siding with the non-Christian community leaders, decided to allow the strike to proceed. The stage was set as tensions between the Christian and non-Christian communities reached an apex. On the day before Christmas, the rampage began after a dispute in a local market. Churches and homes were targeted with impunity. The people of Kandhamal awoke on Christmas Day gripped by fear as the attacks escalated and spread across the district. Reportedly, no churches held worship services for several weeks.

I prayed with a tribal leader who recently converted from Hinduism to Christianity. Because of his conversion he was given a choice by Hindu extremists to either re-convert to Hinduism and be spared or have his home destroyed and be killed. He courageously chose his Christian faith and fled his village. Five months later, after having rebuilt his home with his own meager resources, his report filed with the police remains unanswered and his community continues to face intimidation and threats.

The state of Orissa is one of seven states in India that have passed anti-conversion laws, which severely curtail conversions. In most of these laws, there are particularly severe penalties if Dalits or Tribals change their religion without prior permission from a district magistrate. Even though these laws arguably violate the Indian Constitution's protections for religious freedom, they remain in place. Under India's constitution, Dalits are entitled to affirmative-action benefits, including 15 percent of all federal government jobs and admissions in government-funded universities. Tribals who convert to another religion maintain their affirmative-action privileges. In contrast, Dalits that convert to a religion other than Sikhism, Buddhism, or Hinduism are stripped of these affirmative-action benefits, called reservations. India's Supreme Court is currently reviewing several challenges filed by Christian and Muslim Dalits that could result in an overturning of the affirmative-action exclusion. A separate bill to remove the restriction is pending in Parliament. Government members, influenced by India's 150 million-strong Muslim community, have indicated their cautious support.

The Dalit struggle and Christian persecution is inextricably tied to a broken and biased justice system that fails time and time again to prosecute perpetrators of crimes. Just as all politics are local, all justice seems locally administered in India. According to local leaders, six months after the attack not a single perpetrator has been brought to justice. While dozens were arrested, most have been released and no leaders were implicated. Meanwhile, many communities live under the constant specter of intimidation and fear. Women in one village described being threatened and chased by Hindus living in adjoining villages anytime they tried to bathe or wash clothes in a nearby lake.

Dalit Christians who assert their rights and claim their equality pose a direct threat to the established caste system. Many Dalits are turning to Christianity, attracted by the message of a God who made everyone equal. A cover story in The Wall Street Journal last year reported that, to the dismay of Hindu nationalist groups, the number of India's secret Christians has climbed in recent years to an estimated 25 million, about the size of the officially registered Christian population. According to Dr. Joseph D'souza, AICC president and DFN international president, "Conversion is the way of revolt taught to the Dalits by their champion and liberator, Dr. B. R. Ambedkar, a lawyer educated in the U.S. who turned to Buddhism himself. His writings are well-known all over India among the Dalits. Amdedkar clearly called for the Dalits to convert in order to escape caste-based humiliation and discrimination. In response, some Dalits probably convert due to a motivation to simply protest, but the Christian faith demands that the church receive all -- including Dalits -- who want to follow Christ."

While the vast majority of Hindus in India are friendly or ambivalent toward Christians, Hindu fundamentalist groups led by the Vishwa Hindu Parishad (VHP, the World Hindu Council) are instigating violence and exacerbating tensions. Most Rev. Raphael Cheenath, archbishop of Cuttack-Bhubaneswar, offered a critical insight into how the church must respond, saying the "church needs to open itself up to all sectors of society," arguing that the future security of the church rests in its ability to build real relationships throughout the Hindu community.

During our sojourn through Khandhamal, we stayed at a Catholic training center that was spared during the attack, in large part due to Hindus in the area who protected the center. The center had opened its doors to Hindu organizations, allowing Hindus to sponsor trainings, events, and conferences. According to Archbishop Cheenath, "the church must learn to teach the gospel without demeaning Hinduism and serve the community without proselytizing."

Other acts of violence targeting Christians are much more sporadic and smaller in scale, lacking the gravity and scale to grab headlines both in India and across the world. Catholic lay leader and AICC Secretary John Dayal said that, unfortunately, "the conscience of the world is driven by numbers." On the other hand, attacks each year on Dalits are around 25,000. And there are probably thousands that are unreported. Yet Hindu religion casts a protective shadow over the plight of the Dalits. The Western world is reluctant to fully engage in the Dalit struggle due to fears of being accused of religious intolerance, cultural insensitivity, and sheer ignorance. However, a pernicious distortion of the Bible was used to sanction the systems of Jim Crow in the South and apartheid in South Africa. However, the world can't escape the harsh reality that oppression against Dalits is inextricably linked to the Hindu-based caste system within India. Indians must ask whether Hinduism can survive without caste? Prayerfully, the answer is yes.

Adam Taylor is the senior political director for Sojourners